．．累．．

不知為什麼感到累，但總之就是感覺到很累
不想動，不想用腦，不想跟別人說話
真想把自己隔離，不用跟別人談話，不用動腦筋，只是陶醉在自己的世界裡
但這又好像有點逃避現實

累，不是因為睡眠不足，而是精神上的那種
感覺上好像是因為給自己加添太大的壓力所致
追求完美的心，讓我感到很吃力

常會把小事化大的我，一件小事情，已夠我擔心上半天
一件小的工作，也可讓我苦惱一個星期
這樣下去，真的不行

真覺得自己是個不善與人溝通的人
面對著一個人，很多時都不知跟他／她說甚麼好
如果說起我感興趣的事，我可以談上半天
但說起我一點都不認識或不認同的事情時，我又不知該說甚麼好了
感覺自己永遠都好像和別人隔離了一樣
感覺自己永遠都好像是不合群的人一樣．．．（但在中學時我又不覺得啊~~）

玩，我不是不喜歡，但要看對象是誰
說真的，現在的我比起以前的我貪玩多了
但始終覺得，有些去了等於無去的不如不去
記得看過一句說話：”和所有人交朋友等於沒有朋友”
朋友的定義，曾幾何時也思索過
結論？就是很難下結論~　^^

很享受獨處的時候
可能自小我便習慣了
記得曾經有很多人問過，小時候沒有兄弟姊妹，不覺得悶的嗎？
我會回答說，"不覺得啊~"　只是沒有說後面的一句，”因為有父母陪嘛~”
無論如何，直至現在，仍很享受獨處的時候

從來，我都不喜歡說話，只喜歡聆聽
思考，也不是我的強項．．．(真有點令人擔心．．．)
沒主見，也是我的一大缺點
記得有人跟我說過，"或許我真的要學像你一樣，這樣會比較好"
他竟然想學我自己最討厭自己的那一點
對我來說這簡直是天大的諷刺

軟弱．．．軟弱．．．
覺得自己對很多事都無能為力，力不從心
很想有所承擔，有所作為
但，信心永遠不足
做任何事都是．．．信心不足．．．

我也不知道自己在寫甚麼
只是一口氣的把心裡的說話一次過寫了出來
我想，這就是我所認識的自己
不知道這是否也是你所認識的我？

今晚收到惠敏的電郵，一封鼓勵籌備福音營眾弟兄姊妹的電郵：
"...God loves each and every one of us so dearly,yet, want us just to give him our hearts and to love him in return.
This is what we need to do, and learn to do it well and completely for the rest of our lives, right?

I guess as a response to the Grace and Love we experienced,we would like to do our very best.
But still, the point is not what we do by ourselves, but what we do together WITH Him and IN Him.
Let's take this camp as a chance to experience the faithfulness and wonder of God.
May we use, not our might and charm, but His might and draw people to Him.May His name alone be praised!May we pray more often for one another and for the children we are going to meet.
Let every one prepares ones heart..."

"...We have nothing to fear, as the Lord our God promised that He will always be with us.
This is what I believe. Even though I see my own weaknesses and have been struggling with life,I also see how Grace and Love help me through.
We all have our own weaknesses and fears,yet God knows them more than we do,and it's Him we place our trust and it's Him that we rely on fully!"

The best use of life is LOVE.
The best _expression of love is TIME.
The best time to love is NOW.
~Rick Warren "The purpose driven life"