Sunday, April 19, 2015

Tired

Feel so tired these weeks
Since the week before wedding till now
Not only because insufficient of sleep
and the need of adaptation to new life
But also tired of mom's behavior
I know she will need time to adapt
But I never expect she will have such big response
I think she was able to live alone when I was in mainland and so she must be ok for this new life

But now I know I was totally wrong

She doesn't know that her behavior will make me even more tired......

I just want her to know that I love her as much as she is 

And I am an grown up that I am able to live my life in my own way

I just want to be independent and not acting like a child that need her to do everything for me

She doesn't need to express her love in such a way which actually put more burden on me

I don't like the way she does but I also don't want to make her upset

Actually I think the best way is to spend more time with our original family in weekend but someone also want to have more personal time in weekend too 

So how could I balance this?

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

以為。。。

原本以為自己內心已預備好辦一個溫馨簡單的婚禮
但發現自己原來還是敵不過很多的執著

又原以為一切都已經安排得七七八八
在租屋後才猛然醒覺時間不多,但安排新居的事情卻是多得要命
時間忽然又變得異常緊逼
內心又一而再的焦燥不已

越來越發現,很多事情上,我都拿不定主意
沒有了你的一句話,一個點頭,我都會三心兩意
這就是為何我經常如此焦急

發現自己大部份的耐性原來都只給了病人
對著結婚這人生大事更是完全的失去了耐性......

訂婚的這一年,也許會是我哭得最多的一年
也是我對你失去耐性最多的一年......
讓我知道原來自己的忍耐力是如此的低......

但你卻讓我看到,你如何努力的配合我,遷就我
縱使你比我還要疲累,還要難過的時候
你還總是願意為我著想
真的讓我感到很溫暖
謝謝你

我也會努力的學習放開一點
讓你可以輕鬆一點
希望我快點學會吧!