Feelings & Thoughts

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,

"plans to give you hope and a future.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I will be found by you," declares the LORD

Jeremiah 29:11 - 14

Feeling bad today......

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Just gone through a tired week.

Actually I don't know why I was so tired.

I was not as busy as many other people.

But still, I feel I didn't have time to rest.

Maybe the main reason was I felt so lonely.

Follow the MO by myself, nobody to talk with when I was free, I can gossip with nobody, and then going home alone, going to school and attend lesson alone......

I didn't need to talk much in a day.

It really made me depressed. I hate this......

How should I survive in this situation?

Dr. Cheung is really nice. He explained many things to me and took me to see the Echo procedure.

However, when he asked me what I want to see or learn here, I still can't answer......

I feel bad about this......

In the ward, I can see there is not much things to do with many patients.

Many of them just come and have many different tests or scans in order to rule out a list of diseases.

If nothing was found, congratulation! There is nothing we can do for you and you can go home.

I understand this is how western medicine works. But it seems turning hospital into a checking center......

At that moment, I strongly feel that Chinese Medicine is much more human......

In HK hospital, I can see that the works are clearly divided. If the patient is "lucky" enough, he/she can receive a series professional service from eg. doctors + physio + occu + social worker + special team of nurse(eg. stroke)......Wow, that's really a lot of ppl......

On the other hand, doctors duty become only deal with physically problems and referring other psycho-social problems or rehabilitation to other people.

I know this is somehow necessary and good for them in a hospital.

But is this the best holistic care? I don't know.

Moreover, what is a "doctor" anymore? It seems doctors job is doing referal and asking for consultation......

Maybe I am thinking to much again.....

Talked with a houseman in the ward.

I found that we are similar in many ways as a junior doctor/practitioner.

We need more experience!

I can see the MOs always teach them and let them do the procedures(or sometimes do together with them)

I really wish our practical training in mainland is also like this......

It's only daydreaming......

How should I adapt to my new life?

I don't like this lonely life......