Today is a sleeping day. Sleep and sleep and sleep is the only way to let my body and mind recover. Tomorrow is the first day at hospital. I’m a bit nervous. I am afraid that I am not as knowledgeable as other students. I am afraid that I am not as smart as the others. I am afraid that I will do the wrong things. I am afraid that I look so silly..... I know that it seems very silly indeed. But that’s how I feel.
Yesterday night I had a nightmare. I dreamed that I had a kidney failure and only have 1 year life expectancy. I don’t know why I have such weird dream. But it does remind me that I have so many things that I want to do. The more important is, it reminds me that my mom is the one that I care most. I was so worried that what her life will be if I left. I think I should take more time to take care of her, but not argued with her so much. (Although I really "dislike" some of her thoughts…… )
P.S. I miss you very much, my dear sweetheart.
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